Some of my middle moments are shedding there light.
For as long as I can remember I have made it a personal practice to try to gleam insights from one aspect of my life into another. In fact, much of my approach with my business is inspired by all that I have learned from my studies and practice of yoga. Similarly when I am struggling to work through a problem in my life, personally or professionally, I will view it through a lens of abstraction, more specifically through a methodolgy that I learned as a software developer called Object Oriented Design. This approach has served me well, but some of my recent middle moments have shed more light on how I can really harness learning from one aspect of my life into all aspects of my life.
When I was training with my dear friend and workout buddy this past Friday he asked me for my perspective on something he had been thinking about… little did he know that this was also something that had been simmering in my mind. He illustrated his thoughts through a metaphor of having a 100W light bulb which represented all of his energy. He was pondering the question, if he tries to share his 100W across all that is important to him, then that means he is only giving pieces of himself to each aspect of his life. He gave the example that if he was to give 25% to his family, 25% to his work, 25% to his creative side, and 25% to other stuff that is important to him, then he is really only giving 25% of himself, at best, to any one part. My innate response to his question was to say “why are you breaking yourself up into parts, why not bring it all together and allow for all of your parts to be there at all times… from one 100W bulb”. But then I wondered if my response was too conceptual, can we really do this? The more I thought about it, the more clear it became; we are at our best as “one”, it is much more powerful than our parts.
I think most of us struggle with finding Emotional Agility, there are trade-offs we are forced to make along the way to aspiring to be “one”. Yet having an all is one mindset is not only more reflective of how our brain works , it is far more efficient with our energy. I would argue that any time we spend trying to compartmentalize ourselves is further depleting your 100W supply, nothing takes more out of us than resistance of what is, and we are fundamentally “one”.
Over the weekend I reflected on my own practice of gleaming insights as “one”. I discovered that until very recently I was not inviting all of me into this practice. I innately bring all aspects of my life that I have developed trust and confidence in, but I have not invited the parts of me that I struggle with. The truth is that in some cases I have let my life experiences shape my future experiences with the false belief that I could not control certain aspects of my life. But the fact of the matter is, we have control of how we think about our life experiences and that is all that matters. Recognizing this has allowed me to truly begin to become “one”.
Let’s remove my own personal story and distill this down to an approach that can better serve us as we strive for emotional agility… Suppose we have 4 big rocks….
- Family, friends and romance
- My art, my craft, my passion
- Me, my health, my spirit
- Community, giving, my tribe
We all have different rocks, but we all typically have about 4-5 things that really matter. If we were to give all four aspects of ourselves a portion of our 100W, how would we ever shine light in one aspect without sacrificing the others? We need to merge ourselves into “one” to truly empower ourselves as a whole. That sounds easy conceptually but in practice it requires us to really focus on our self awareness to make sure our choices are aligned with our whole.
I would love to know your thoughts on this, are you feeling fragmented?